I asked for it.

I'm in love with somebody who can't love me back and now my heart is breaking. I'm in love with somebody who can't love me back and now my heart is breaking.

I knew he couldn't love me, but I pursued him anyway. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it. I have to lie on a stained and filthy mattress with 100 count sheets. Everybody knows that 100 counts sheets are tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment.

I had to stir up some drama, because I am bored by life and I only know how to be miserable.

My life is better than ever but I don't know how to handle the calm. So, I will poke that sleeping dog until it violently attacks and eats my face.

I don't know how to be happy. I'm not used to it. Depression is what I'm used to. I've been depressed my whole life. It's what I know. Serenity scares me.

I feel violated by this new found peace. For me, it is like some kinda alien entering my life and probing me with love.

It feels weird and I don't know how to handle it.

And so I made my unwise decision to love somebody I have no business loving and now I am so sad. So, so, sooo sad. But I asked for it. I am a moron.

Even though this pain feels familiar and comfortable, it's not really what I want.

I want to learn how not to be miserable, but I don't know how.

For the love of god, will someone please give me some prescription painkillers? I swear that would help.