Real babies give me the creeps. They're usually hairless. Spectacularly needy. And constantly making ugly, migraine-inducing, rape-whistley sounds. While simultaneously spilling all sorts of bodily fluids wherever they damn please. I just threw up. But when it comes to plastic (technically, more of a triethyl-epoxy resin) babies -- the creepier the better. Preferably with equally creepy names. Like "Dell" (the precocious, flower-peddling, gypsy-themed ragamuffin from Hasbro -- not the crap PC from Korea). "GabbyAbbyGayle" (never shut her f@cking mouth!). And who could forget, "Damp Nellie" from the late 1970's? Or her best friend, "Def-A-Kate?" And to what brand of fresh hell must one subscribe in order to "adopt" scores of these faux toddlers -- well into adult hood (most often post-hysterectomy, morbidly-obese, mid-western gals who proudly display their "babies" on every flat surface inside their homes)? I wonder...do ... Read >
Real babies give me the creeps. They're usually hairless. Spectacularly needy. And constantly making ugly, migraine-inducing, rape-whistley sounds. While simultaneously spilling all sorts of bodily fluids wherever they damn please. I just threw up. But when it comes to plastic (technically, more of a triethyl-epoxy resin) babies -- the creepier the better. Preferably with equally creepy names. Like "Dell" (the precocious, flower-peddling, gypsy-themed ragamuffin from Hasbro -- not the crap PC from Korea). "GabbyAbbyGayle" (never shut her f@cking mouth!). And who could forget, "Damp Nellie" from the late 1970's? Or her best friend, "Def-A-Kate?" And to what brand of fresh hell must one subscribe in order to "adopt" scores of these faux toddlers -- well into adult hood (most often post-hysterectomy, morbidly-obese, mid-western gals who proudly display their "babies" on every flat surface inside their homes)? I wonder...do the husbands spend so much time hosing each other down with doe urine they just don't notice? Or care? Toss Marie Osmond into the mix and I'm profoundly interested. Show Less <
other contenders for the top description
The Creepy Doll: a great plot device for horror films, the creepy doll is part of our Collective Unconscious wherein lies a deep fear that an adorable, beribboned doll might come alive at any time and speak to us, or worse: try to kill ... Read >
The Creepy Doll: a great plot device for horror films, the creepy doll is part of our Collective Unconscious wherein lies a deep fear that an adorable, beribboned doll might come alive at any time and speak to us, or worse: try to kill us. When they stare at us with tiny little beady eyes or no eyes at all, we know: they are going to get us! This inherent knowledge does something terrifying to our psyche that normally only prehistoric-looking insects are capable of doing. Show Less <
For centuries, dolls have been used by various cultures as tupperware for demons and displaced souls. That equals creepy. Even dolls that are designed to be harmless or comforting...you just know that the malignant spirit inside is ... Read >
For centuries, dolls have been used by various cultures as tupperware for demons and displaced souls. That equals creepy. Even dolls that are designed to be harmless or comforting...you just know that the malignant spirit inside is plotting your demise. It's got a tiny chainsaw hidden somewhere. It's just waiting for you to fall asleep. Show Less <
The fuel of nightmares.
