From the Desk of a Disenchanted Copy Editor ("Oh, Wait, They've Taken My Desk Away!)

I work as a copy editor. What disturbs me most these days is that anyone can hang a shingle online—even if they can't spell. My fanaticism, however, goes beyond proper grammar and spelling, beyond the pervasive dangling participle or split infinitive. (Actually, the latter isn't a pet peeve of mine. "Star Trek" wouldn't be "Star Trek" if you couldn't say, "to boldly go." Apparently some nitpicky professor dude came up with that bogus rule. A split infinitive never muddies meaning the way a dangling participle does.) What I also notice is punctuation that doesn't follow "Chicago Manual of Style" rules, or any rule for that matter. For instance, don't use ellipsis points if you don't know the difference between a three point and four point. Ugh! And now as magazines fold and go online, they are getting rid of copy editors altogether to save a buck (to boldly save a buck?). All of this will ultimately contribute to the complete and utter deterioration of the English language. But—and, yes, it is totally cool to start a sentence with a "but"—if you are funny, I will always forgive you!