My Smoking Bio

I had my first cig at 12. I didn't really like it, but it seemed cool. I lived in the south of France and had pitched a tent with a friend near the woods by my house. We bought a pack of Gauloises in the village and came back to smoke them in the tent. When my mom suddenly appeared out of nowhere and popped her head in, we quickly crushed our burning cigarettes in a piece of paper and told her we were devising a secret code. I picked up again in high school around the age of 15. It made me feel sick, but I pushed myself beyond the point of sickness until I became addicted. Again it was about seeming cool. I needed to counter my geekiness with something. The habit has been haunting me off and on ever since. I would love to quit, but I can't seem to anymore. When I do, it is not tragedy that makes me smoke again but falling in love. Go figure!